Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · ReceptionTwo minutes, one song, the two of you
You do not need choreography. A simple sway, one turn and a clean ending will feel wonderful and look beautiful. Here is the basic step and two lessons to practise with.
- Ideal lengthTwo to three minutes
- PracticeTen minutes, a few evenings
- MovesSway, turn, dip optional
- ShoesThe ones you will wear
Look at each other, not your feet. That is ninety percent of a good first dance.
Most first dances are a slow sway with one or two turns, and that is exactly right. What people remember is how the couple looks at each other. Practise enough that you are not counting, then forget the steps and enjoy the song.
Ask your DJ to fade your song at around two and a half minutes, or invite guests to join after the first chorus. Few couples want to dance alone for five.
The sway, and one turn
Frame
One partner’s right hand on the other’s upper back; the other’s left hand on their shoulder. Free hands clasped, elbows soft, about a forearm apart.
Find the beat
Count the slow beat in the song. Each step lands on one beat.
Step side to side
Step to one side, bring the other foot to meet it, then the other way. Small steps.
Rotate slowly
Turn a quarter of the way around every few bars so guests on every side see your faces.
One under-arm turn
The leader raises the joined hands; the partner turns underneath, then returns to frame.
End on purpose
On the last note: a dip, a kiss or a spin out. Decide which in advance.
Two lessons to follow at home
Wedding first dance tutorial: the basic step
Duet Dance Studio on YouTube. A clear foundation for complete beginners.
How to perfect the simple sway
The Next Step Co. on YouTube. How to make the sway look relaxed rather than stiff.
Little things that help
Bustle the dress
Have the train bustled before the dance so no one steps on it.
Practise in your shoes
Heels and new soles behave differently on a dance floor.
Edit the song
Ask the DJ to fade at two and a half minutes, or to invite guests in.
Talk to each other
Whisper, laugh, say something silly. It looks wonderful.
Lights
Ask for warm, dim light on the floor, not a dark room with a single spotlight.
Parent dances
Father-daughter and mother-son dances often follow; one shared song for both is a lovely time-saver.
When the dances happen
Many couples have their first dance right after their grand entrance, before dinner, while everyone is seated and watching. Others wait until after the toasts to open the dance floor.
Parent dances usually follow the first dance. Then the DJ invites everyone up. See how the evening fits together in our reception timeline, and plan your grand exit for the end of the night.
Turn slowly, a quarter at a time. If you stay facing one way, half your guests and our second camera only ever see your backs. A slow rotation gives every side of the room, and every angle we shoot, a view of your faces.
Lulan Studio · wedding photographers & filmmakers
First dances, answered
How long should a first dance be?
Two to three minutes is ideal. Ask your DJ to fade the song or invite guests to join if your song runs longer.
What if we cannot dance?
A simple side-to-side sway with one turn is all you need. Practise for ten minutes on a few evenings and focus on each other, not your feet.
When does the first dance happen?
Often right after the couple’s grand entrance at the reception, or after dinner and toasts to open the dance floor.
Do we need dance lessons for our first dance?
Not unless you want choreography. A couple of lessons help if you want lifts or a routine; otherwise free videos are enough.
Keep reading, before the big day
All twenty guides live in our wedding day etiquette collection.
Planning the day? Let’s talk it through.
Tell us who is speaking, who is walking and when the dancing starts. We will help you build a timeline that gives every one of these moments its light, and photograph them so they last.