Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · SpeechesThank everyone, then thank each other
Your speech is the last word of the toasts. It does not need to be clever. It needs to thank the right people, in the right order, and give the room one look at the two of you.
- LengthTwo to four minutes
- Who speaksEither, or both together
- OrderGuests, families, party, each other
- FinishA toast back to the room
The best couple speeches sound like a conversation between two people who are very happy.
Couples usually speak last, after the parents, maid of honor and best man, though some speak first to welcome everyone. Speaking together, each taking a few lines, works well and keeps either of you from carrying it alone.
Keep a list of names on a card. Forgetting to thank someone is the most common regret, and nobody minds you reading names aloud.
Who to thank, and when
Everyone here
Thank guests for coming, especially those who travelled far.
Both families
Parents first, then grandparents and siblings. Name anyone who helped host or pay.
Those who are missing
A brief, gentle line for loved ones who could not be there or have passed, if you wish.
The wedding party and speakers
Thank them as a group, and the speakers for their toasts.
The people behind the scenes
A friend who officiated, made the cake, did the flowers. Vendors can be thanked as a group.
Each other
One or two sentences to each other. Then raise a glass to the room.
A couple’s speech, shared
A: Hi, everyone. We will keep this short, because there is a dance floor waiting. B: And because she has seen my first draft.
To our parents: thank you for everything that got us here, including tonight. We are lucky to have four of you, and as of today, we share all four.
Keep it short; let the room feel it, then move on.We know Grandpa Joe would have been first on the dance floor. We are dancing for him tonight.
And to my wife: thank you for saying yes, and for saying it again today. To everyone here: please raise a glass. To all of you.
Little things that help
Write it together
Split lines so each of you has a part. It sounds natural and shares the nerves.
One card, big type
List every name to thank. No one minds you reading them.
Hold hands
Literally. You will both feel calmer, and it photographs beautifully.
Hand off cleanly
Ask the DJ to cue your first dance or the cake cutting right after.
Speak to each other for one line, not to the room. The two of you looking at each other with the guests blurred behind is one of our favourite reception frames, and it only happens if you turn toward each other.
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Couple speeches, answered
Do the bride and groom give a speech at the wedding?
Many couples do, usually as the last speech of the night, to thank guests, families and the wedding party. It is optional but appreciated.
Who should the couple thank in their wedding speech?
Guests, both families, anyone who hosted or helped pay, the wedding party and speakers, friends who helped make the day, and each other.
Should the couple speak together or separately?
Either works. Speaking together, each taking a few lines, feels warm and shares the pressure.
When does the couple speak at the reception?
Usually last, after the other toasts, or first to welcome guests if no parent is giving a welcome speech.
Keep reading, before the big day
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Tell us who is speaking, who is walking and when the dancing starts. We will help you build a timeline that gives every one of these moments its light, and photograph them so they last.