Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · WordsFind the words, keep them short
You will get about thirty seconds with the couple. Here is what to say in the receiving line, at their table or on the dance floor, and what to keep to yourself.
- Time with themAbout thirty seconds
- SayCongratulations, and their names
- AvoidCost, babies, exes
- ThenLet them move on
Warm, specific and brief: the couple has a hundred more hugs to get through.
Traditional etiquette says to congratulate the couple, or wish the newlyweds happiness. Today “congratulations” to both is perfectly correct and the most common thing people say.
The best thing you can add is one specific detail: something in the ceremony that moved you, how happy they look, or how glad you are to be there. Then hug, step aside, and let them greet the next guest.
Phrases that always work
Congratulations to you both. That was the most beautiful ceremony.Simple, warm and specific.
You two look so happy. Thank you for letting us share this.Good for a receiving line.
Your vows had me in tears. I’m so happy for you.If the vows were personal, say so.
Welcome to the family.For a new in-law, said with a hug.
We are having the best time. Go enjoy your night.For a table visit. It gives them permission to move on.
I’ll never forget your first dance.Later in the evening, on your way out.
What to say to their parents
Congratulations. You must be so proud.Classic, and always welcome.
Thank you for having us. Everything is beautiful.Especially if they hosted.
They are so lucky to have you.A lovely thing for a parent to hear.
Things not to say
Do
- Use both names.
- Mention one detail you loved.
- Keep it under a minute in a line.
- Say goodbye before you leave, if you can catch them.
Don’t
- Anything about the cost of the wedding or the venue.
- Questions about babies, honeymoons booked or not, or where they will live.
- Comments about exes, weight, or how long it “took”.
- Complaints: the seating, the food, the wait for the bar.
- Long stories while a queue forms behind you.
Congratulations, in many languages
Southern California weddings mix families and languages. If you know the couple’s tradition, a greeting in their language is a gift in itself.
| Language | Greeting | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| Mandarin | Xin hun kuai le (新婚快乐) | Happy wedding |
| Cantonese | Baak nin hou hap (百年好合) | A hundred years of happy union |
| Spanish | ¡Felicidades a los novios! | Congratulations to the couple |
| Hebrew | Mazel tov | Good fortune; congratulations |
| Hindi | Shaadi mubarak ho | Congratulations on the wedding |
| Korean | Gyeolhon chukha deuryeoyo (결혼 축하드려요) | Congratulations on your marriage |
| Vietnamese | Chúc mừng hạnh phúc | Wishing you happiness |
| Tagalog | Maligayang bati sa bagong kasal | Congratulations to the newlyweds |
The hugs in the receiving line and at the tables are some of the most honest frames of the night. Do not rush them and do not pose them. Just hold on a second longer than you normally would.
Lulan Studio · wedding photographers & filmmakers
What to say, answered
What do you say to the bride and groom at a wedding?
“Congratulations to you both” plus one specific detail, such as how beautiful the ceremony was or how happy they look, is perfect. Keep it brief.
Is it rude to say congratulations to the bride?
Old etiquette suggested wishing the bride happiness and congratulating the groom. Today congratulating both is completely correct.
What should you not say at a wedding?
Avoid the cost of the wedding, questions about babies, comments about exes or appearance, and complaints about the seating or food.
What do you say to the parents of the couple?
Congratulate them, thank them for having you, and tell them how lovely the day is. “You must be so proud” is always welcome.
Keep reading, before the big day
All twenty guides live in our wedding day etiquette collection.
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