Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · GuestsFive don’ts, five dos, one great day
Most guest etiquette is common sense. A few rules are not, especially the ones about phones in the aisle. We see what happens from the front of the ceremony every weekend.
- ArriveTwenty to thirty minutes early
- PhonesDown during the ceremony
- WearAnything but white, unless asked
- RSVPBy the date on the card
The couple has spent a year on this day. Your job is to show up, be present and have a wonderful time.
Below are the five things we most wish guests would stop doing, from the people standing at the front of the aisle with a camera, followed by five that make every wedding better.
If you are in the wedding party, see our guide to the processional order. If you are the couple, read what not to do before your ceremony.
The five things never to do
Never step into the aisle for a photo
The single most common way a once-only photograph is lost. Stay in your seat; the couple has hired someone for that shot.
Never hold up a phone or tablet during the ceremony
Especially at an unplugged ceremony. Raised screens block the people behind you and end up in the couple’s photographs.
Never wear white, ivory or anything bridal
Unless the couple has asked for it. When in doubt, choose a colour.
Never bring an uninvited guest
If the invitation names only you, come alone. The same goes for children not named on the invitation.
Never post before the couple does
Hold your photos until the couple has shared their own, or asks you to share.
Five things to always do
RSVP on time
By the date on the card, with any dietary needs. Catering numbers depend on it.
Arrive early
Twenty to thirty minutes before the ceremony time on the invitation. Ceremonies often start on time.
Follow the dress code
Black tie, cocktail, garden: it is on the invitation or website for a reason.
Stay through the main moments
Toasts, first dance and cake. Leaving before them is noticed.
Get on the dance floor
One song at least. Couples remember who danced.
Phones, cameras and the unplugged ceremony
An unplugged ceremony asks guests to put phones and cameras away until the couple walks back up the aisle. Many couples now request it, and we see why: when phones go up, screens end up in the photographs of the walk down the aisle, and the guests behind them miss it.
If the ceremony is not unplugged, still keep your phone at chest height, stay in your seat and silence it. Never use a flash.
At the reception, photograph away. Just keep the dance floor and the space in front of the couple’s table clear during the first dance, toasts and cake cutting.
Smaller things that add up
Seating
Sit where your place card says. Swapping tables upsets a carefully made plan.
Speeches
Stop talking, put your drink down, and listen. Applaud at the end.
Song requests
Ask the DJ once, politely, if requests are allowed. The couple may have a do-not-play list.
The bar
An open bar is generous, not a challenge. Tip the bartenders.
Saying goodbye
Find the couple or their parents to thank them before you leave.
Gifts
Ship boxed gifts; bring only a card. See gift etiquette.
The walk down the aisle lasts under a minute and cannot be repeated. When a guest steps out with a phone, we lose it. Stay seated, look at her, and let us take that one for you.
Lulan Studio · wedding photographers & filmmakers
Guest etiquette, answered
What should you not do at a wedding?
Do not step into the aisle or hold up a phone during the ceremony, wear white, bring uninvited guests, post photos before the couple, or leave before the main moments.
What is an unplugged wedding ceremony?
A ceremony where the couple asks guests to keep phones and cameras away until it ends, so everyone is present and the professional photos are not blocked.
How early should you arrive at a wedding?
Twenty to thirty minutes before the start time printed on the invitation, so you can find parking and be seated before the processional.
When is it acceptable to leave a wedding?
After the main moments: the toasts, first dance and cake cutting. Thank the couple or their parents before you go.
Keep reading, before the big day
All twenty guides live in our wedding day etiquette collection.
Planning the day? Let’s talk it through.
Tell us who is speaking, who is walking and when the dancing starts. We will help you build a timeline that gives every one of these moments its light, and photograph them so they last.