Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · SpeechesThe mic, the glass, and your voice
A good speech can still be lost to a mumble, a mic held at the waist or a toast that never quite ends. Delivery is a skill. Here it is, in a few minutes.
- Mic distanceA fist’s width from your chin
- PaceSlower than feels natural
- StandFacing the room, not your back to the couple
- GlassRaise it on the final line
Slow down, hold the microphone close, and look up at the end of every sentence.
Most wedding speeches go wrong in delivery, not writing: the speaker rushes, drifts away from the microphone, or turns their back on the room to face the couple. All three are easy to fix with a few minutes of practice.
Do a sound check with the DJ or band during cocktail hour if you can, and find out whether you will have a handheld or a stand microphone.
How to hold the microphone
Hold it close
About a fist’s width from your chin, pointing at your mouth. Not at your chest.
Keep it there
When you turn your head, turn the mic with it. Most dropouts happen when the speaker looks at the couple.
Do not tap or blow
Ask “can everyone hear me?” instead. The DJ will adjust.
Stay out of the speakers
Never walk in front of a speaker cabinet; that is where the squeal comes from.
Hand it back
Give the mic back to the DJ or the next speaker. Do not set it down live on the table.
Where to stand, and where to look
Stand to one side of the couple’s table, angled so you can see both the couple and the room. Most of the speech goes to the room. The sincere lines at the end go to the couple.
Do not stand directly in front of the sweetheart table: you block the couple from the guests, and from the camera. Ask the planner where the photographer and videographer will be, and stand so they can see your face and the couple at the same time.
If there is a stand microphone, adjust it to your mouth before you start, rather than bending down to it.
Calm, or close enough
Practise out loud
Reading silently is not practice. Say it aloud five or more times, once standing up.
Breathe out slowly
Before you stand, breathe out for longer than you breathe in, three times. It slows a racing heart.
Hold something
Cards in one hand, mic in the other. Busy hands shake less.
One drink, not three
A glass of wine helps; a third makes you ramble.
Find friendly faces
Look at three people who love you, in different parts of the room.
Pause on purpose
Silence after a line feels long to you and natural to everyone else.
How to raise the glass
Signal it
“Please stand, if you are able, and raise your glasses.”
Wait a beat
Give people time to find a glass and stand.
Say their names
Lift your glass to eye level and say both names clearly.
Drink, and step away
Take a sip, smile at the couple, hand the mic back. Do not add “one more thing.”
You do not need champagne for a toast: any drink, including water, is fine to raise. Clinking glasses to get attention is best avoided; ask the DJ to introduce you instead.
Turn your body toward the room and only your head toward the couple. That way the mic stays at your mouth, guests can hear you, and we can photograph your face and their reactions together instead of the back of your jacket.
Lulan Studio · wedding photographers & filmmakers
Delivering a toast, answered
How far should you hold a microphone from your mouth?
About a fist’s width, roughly two to four inches below your chin and pointed at your mouth. Keep it there when you turn your head.
Where should you stand when giving a wedding toast?
Beside the couple’s table, angled toward the room, so guests can see the couple and the photographer can see you both.
How do you calm nerves before a wedding speech?
Practise aloud several times, breathe out slowly before you stand, keep your notes in your hand, limit yourself to one drink and look at friendly faces.
Should you clink a glass to start a toast?
It is better to ask the DJ or planner to introduce you. Clinking can crack glassware and does not carry far in a large room.
Keep reading, before the big day
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