Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · SpeechesWelcome everyone, then let her go
The father of the bride usually opens the speeches, as host and as dad. It is part welcome, part love letter, and the hardest few minutes of the day to get through without crying.
- UsuallyFirst speech of the night
- LengthThree to five minutes
- RoleHost and father
- Hardest lineThe one about her as a child
Your speech sets the tone for every speech after it. Warm, short and sincere sets a good one.
Traditionally the father of the bride speaks first, welcoming guests on behalf of the hosts. Today, any parent, both parents together, a stepfather or a mother may give this speech; the guidance is the same.
Write it early. Many fathers find it easier to write a letter to their daughter first, then turn the best paragraph into the heart of the speech.
A father’s speech, in six parts
Welcome
Welcome guests, especially those who travelled, and thank them on behalf of both families.
Thank the other family
A warm word for your daughter’s new in-laws.
Her, then
One memory of her growing up. Specific and short.
Her, now
The woman she has become. One or two qualities, shown not listed.
Welcome the partner
Speak to them directly, and welcome them to the family.
The toast
Raise a glass to the couple. Then hand the mic to the next speaker.
Writing it, and getting through it
How to handle father of the bride speech nerves
Wedding Speech Writer on YouTube. Practical advice for the emotional bit.
A full hour of father of the bride speech tips
Wedding Speech Writer on YouTube. For the dad who wants every detail.
Lines to make your own
Good evening, everyone. I’m Robert, Grace’s dad. On behalf of Linda and me, and of the Chen family, thank you for being here, and for making the trip from as far as Melbourne.
When Grace was six, she announced she was running away from home. She packed a suitcase with three books, a flashlight and a peanut butter sandwich, and made it as far as the end of the driveway, where she sat and read until dinner.
David, you have made our daughter happier than I have ever seen her. We are proud to call you our son.
Please join me in raising a glass to Grace and David. To Grace and David.
Getting through it dry-eyed (mostly)
Rehearse the hard line
Say the emotional sentence aloud twenty times. It gets easier.
Look at the room
Look up during the welcome; look at her for the last part.
Breathe at the full stops
Pausing reads as confident, not lost.
Keep water close
A sip buys a few seconds when your voice catches.
Write big
Print in 16-point type. Reading glasses in the jacket pocket.
Stop on time
Five minutes, then the toast. Leave them wanting a little more.
Father-of-the-bride speeches produce the most reliable tears of the night, and not only his. Ask the DJ to give the couple a chair facing you, so we can see both of you in the same frame.
Lulan Studio · wedding photographers & filmmakers
Father of the bride speeches, answered
Does the father of the bride give the first speech?
Traditionally yes, as host, welcoming guests before the maid of honor and best man. Many couples now change the order or have both sets of parents speak together.
How long should a father of the bride speech be?
Three to five minutes. It is a welcome plus a short tribute, not a biography.
What should the father of the bride say about the groom or partner?
Something specific and warm about who they are and how they treat your daughter, followed by a clear welcome to the family.
Can the mother of the bride give the speech instead?
Absolutely. Either or both parents can speak, as can a stepparent or guardian. See our guide for mothers and parents.
Keep reading, before the big day
All twenty guides live in our wedding day etiquette collection.
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