Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · SpeechesShort and sweet, for the whole family
Not every toast needs a story arc. For a sibling, a grandparent or an aunt, one minute of love, said clearly, is the right length and the most remembered.
- LengthSixty to ninety seconds
- WordsAbout 120 to 200
- BilingualSay it, then translate
- Good forSiblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles
The shortest toast at a wedding is often the one that makes the room go quiet.
Family toasts work best when they sound like the person giving them. A grandmother does not need jokes; a teenage brother does not need to be profound. Say who you are, say one true thing, and lift your glass.
For multicultural families, a toast in the family’s first language followed by a short translation honors both sides of the room. It is one of the most moving moments we photograph.
Three sentences and a glass
Who you are to them
“I’m Nora, Ben’s little sister.”
One true thing
A trait, a memory or a hope, in one or two sentences.
The toast
“Please raise your glasses. To Ben and Alice.”
Toasts for every relative
I’m Josh, Hannah’s brother. For twenty-five years I’ve watched her look after everyone else. Mark, thank you for looking after her. To Hannah and Mark.
I have been married fifty-two years. Here is everything I know: be kind first, be right second. To my granddaughter and her husband.
I held Lily the day she was born, and I’ve been her biggest fan ever since. Today I gained a new favourite nephew. To Lily and Chris.
Keep both versions short; say the original first.[In the family’s language:] May your home be full of laughter and your table always full. [Then in English:] My grandmother said this at my wedding. Now I say it to you. To Mei and Daniel.
Tips for a one-minute toast
Ask first
Check with the couple or planner before the reception; unplanned toasts throw the timeline.
Write it on a card
Even sixty seconds is easier with a card in your hand.
Use the mic
Grandparents especially: hold it close. A quiet voice will not carry in a ballroom.
Mention the absent
A short line for a grandparent who has passed can be beautiful, if the couple would welcome it.
Kids can toast too
A young sibling or cousin with one line is pure joy. Have a grown-up beside them.
Stand up
Unless you need to sit, standing tells the room you are about to speak.
At family-heavy weddings the shortest toasts come from the oldest guests, and they move the room more than anything else. Tell us who they are beforehand so we know to be in position.
Lulan Studio · wedding photographers & filmmakers
Family toasts, answered
How long should a family wedding toast be?
About a minute, ninety seconds at most: who you are, one true thing about the couple, and the toast.
Can I give a toast if I was not asked?
Ask the couple or planner first. Many receptions have a fixed running order, and surprise toasts can push dinner and the first dance.
How do you give a bilingual wedding toast?
Say your toast in the family’s language first, then give a short English version, or the reverse. Keep both brief so the room stays with you.
What do you say in a short wedding toast?
Introduce yourself, share one sentence about who the couple are or what you wish for them, and raise your glass to both names.
Keep reading, before the big day
All twenty guides live in our wedding day etiquette collection.
Planning the day? Let’s talk it through.
Tell us who is speaking, who is walking and when the dancing starts. We will help you build a timeline that gives every one of these moments its light, and photograph them so they last.