Planning/Wedding day etiquette
Wedding day etiquette · DressA flower on the left, over the heart
A boutonniere is small, but it is the detail that ends up in the middle of every portrait. Here is how to pin it so it stays straight from the first look to the last dance.
- Which sideThe left lapel
- PinsTwo, crossed behind
- AngleStem down, tilted toward the shoulder
- Who pins itSomeone who loves you
Left lapel, over the heart, stem down, flowers facing out.
Your florist will usually deliver boutonnieres with one or two pearl-headed pins pushed through the stem. That is fine to wear, but the method below keeps the flower from rotating when you hug people, which you will do a lot.
If your jacket has a working lapel buttonhole, you can slide the stem through it and pin from behind. If you are wearing a delicate fabric, ask the florist for magnetic backs instead of pins.
Two pins, no wobble
Find the spot
On the left lapel, about where the buttonhole sits, a few inches below the collar notch. The flowers should rest on the lapel, not overhang it.
Angle it
Hold the boutonniere with the stem pointing down and the flowers tilted slightly out toward your shoulder, following the line of the lapel.
First pin from behind
Lift the lapel and push a pin from the back, through the fabric, then through the thickest part of the stem, and back into the lapel.
Second pin crossed
Add a second pin in an X over the first, lower on the stem. Two crossed pins stop it spinning.
Hide the points
Make sure both pin tips end up behind the lapel, so nobody gets scratched in a hug.
Check from the front
Look straight on in a mirror: the flower should sit upright, roughly parallel to the lapel edge.
How to pin on a boutonniere
Laurel and Vine Floral Design on YouTube. A florist’s method, shown on a real jacket.
How to pin a boutonnière or corsage
Uncommon Camellia on YouTube. Covers both, useful for mothers and grandmothers too.
The people who usually get flowers
Traditions vary, and this is your call. A common list:
The couple
A groom or partner’s boutonniere is often a single bloom echoing the bouquet, slightly different from the groomsmen’s.
Wedding party
Groomsmen and best man; some bridesmaids wear a wrist corsage or a small pinned flower instead of carrying one.
Parents
Fathers and stepfathers usually wear a boutonniere; mothers and stepmothers a pin-on or wrist corsage.
Grandparents
Often a boutonniere or corsage, a lovely way to mark them out in the family photos.
The officiant
A thoughtful touch, especially for a friend or family member officiating.
Readers and ushers
Optional. Anyone with a role in the ceremony can be flagged with a flower.
Keep it fresh until the toasts
Keep boutonnieres in their box in the fridge or a cool room until about thirty minutes before photos, never in direct sun. Pin them on after the jacket is on and the tie is done.
Hand them out in the getting-ready room, ideally with someone in charge of the box and the spare pins. Pinning the groom’s flower is a lovely job to give to a mother, a sister or the best man, and it is one of the most natural photographs of the morning.
Hugging crushes flowers. Small hardy blooms like spray roses, ranunculus and succulents hold up better through a long day than soft garden roses or peonies.
Ask your mom, a sister or your best man to pin the boutonniere for you. Hands at the lapel, two faces close together, a little concentration and a lot of feeling: we will be ready for it.
Lulan Studio · wedding photographers & filmmakers
Boutonnieres, answered
Which side does a boutonniere go on?
The left lapel, over the heart, roughly where the lapel buttonhole sits. The stem points down and the flower tilts slightly toward the shoulder.
How do you pin a boutonniere so it does not spin?
Push the first pin from behind the lapel through the stem and back into the fabric, then add a second pin crossed over the first. Keep both points hidden behind the lapel.
Who pins on the groom’s boutonniere?
Anyone special: traditionally a mother, but often a partner, sister, father or the best man. It makes a natural getting-ready photograph.
Can I use a magnet instead of pins?
Yes. Magnetic boutonniere backs avoid holes in delicate fabrics and are quick to put on, though they can slide on very thick lapels. Ask your florist.
Keep reading, before the big day
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