Private vows exchange: the best times on your wedding day

Three moments that work for a private vows exchange

A lot of couples want to exchange private vows, and for many of them it is one of the most important parts of the day. There are multiple ways to do it, and in the video we run through the three we use most: the morning, the first look, and right after the ceremony.

In the morning, a bridesmaid or one of the groomsmen helps carry letters between the two of you. We keep the bride and the groom in a very private, isolated spot and let each of you read what the other has written. It is a meaningful moment, and we often see tears at exactly that point.

The second way is around a first look. Typically right after the first look, or right before it, there is an exchange of words and letters about how you are feeling. The third way is right after the ceremony, during the time we photograph the couple, which is also a great time for the vows.

Morning letters, read apart

The morning version works because you are already separated, already emotional and not yet on a schedule. A letter written a day or two ahead gives each of you something concrete to hold, and reading it alone means the reaction is entirely yours rather than performed for a room.

Practically, choose your courier in advance so nobody is hunting for an envelope while hair and makeup finish. We photograph the reading quietly, then give you a minute alone with it before the rest of the day picks up speed again.

Vows at the first look or after the ceremony

At a first look, the words usually come right before or right after you turn around, while you are already alone with each other. Some couples read letters; others just talk. Either way it happens at a point in the day when we are already set up for the two of you.

The after-ceremony option matters most for church weddings, where personal vows are often not allowed during the service itself. Couples still want to say those words, so we fold the exchange into the couple portrait session that follows the ceremony, when you are married, relieved and finally alone.