Korean Wedding Tradition

The PaebaekCeremony

The family ceremony at the heart of a Korean wedding — what happens, what everything on the table means, and the order it all runs in.

What It Is

A private ceremonyfor family only.

Paebaek — also written pyebaek, from the Korean 펙백 — is the ceremony in which a newly married couple formally greets the family they are marrying into. Traditionally it was held a few days after the main wedding, in the groom’s family home, with only relatives present.

Korean-American couples almost always fold it into the wedding day itself: most commonly in a private room during cocktail hour, between the Western ceremony and the reception, though some families hold it before the ceremony instead. Either way it stays what it has always been — a small, closed-door ritual of respect between two families.

Korean
펙백
Runs
30–45 minutes
Present
Family only
Usually
During cocktail hour

The Table

Nothing on itis decorative.

Every item laid out for the paebaek carries a meaning, and the exact spread varies by family and region. These are the pieces you will see most often.

On the table
What is laid out
Daechu
Jujubes — red dates
Bam
Chestnuts
Gotgam
Dried persimmons
Yukpo
Dried seasoned meat
Wedding ducks
A carved pair, set facing each other
What it means
The symbolism
Jujubes & chestnuts
Fertility — and, playfully, how many children are coming
Dried persimmons
Union, and enduring life together
Dried meat
A traditional offering to the bride’s new mother-in-law
The duck pair
Birds that pair for life — lifelong partnership
Everything
Presented, then blessed, then returned

The Order

Four moments,in sequence.

Families vary the details, but the spine of the ceremony is remarkably consistent. Elders are greeted in order of seniority, beginning with the groom’s parents.

Step 01
The bow — keunjeol

The couple performs the deep bow. It begins standing and ends kneeling, foreheads pressed to their hands. This is the formal greeting, repeated for each set of elders in turn.

Step 02
Tea or wine is offered

The couple pours and presents a cup to each elder, who drinks, then offers words of advice and blessing to the new marriage.

Step 03
Dates and chestnuts

The elders throw jujubes and chestnuts back toward the bride, who catches them in her outstretched skirt — the most photographed moment of the whole ceremony, and the loudest.

Step 04
The piggyback

Many families end on a laugh: the groom carries the bride — and often his own mother — around the room, a show of strength and of the care he owes them both.

What Is Worn

The hwarotand the jokduri.

The bride changes into ceremonial hanbok: a green jeogori jacket over a red chima skirt embroidered with symbols of longevity, fertility and good fortune, with long white sleeve extensions covering the hands. On her head sits the jokduri, a small ceremonial crown, and on her cheeks and forehead the three red dots — yeonji gonji.

The groom wears samogwandae — the robe, belt and winged hat modelled on the dress of a court official. Because both are dressed and both families are together and in one room, the fifteen minutes immediately after the ceremony is the single best portrait opportunity of the day — and one that never comes back once everyone changes for the reception.

Questions

Before yourpaebaek.

When in the day should the paebaek happen?
Most Korean-American couples hold it during cocktail hour, in a private room between the Western ceremony and the reception. That keeps guests entertained while the families have the ceremony to themselves. Some families prefer it before the ceremony instead — both are common.
Who takes part?
Family only. Traditionally the couple greets the groom’s parents and elder relatives, though many couples now include both sides. Decide the order of seniority in advance and give the list to whoever is running the room.
What do the jujubes and chestnuts mean?
Both stand for fertility and children. The elders toss them and the bride catches what she can in her skirt, and the number caught is said — with a good deal of teasing — to predict how many children are on the way. Which fruit stands for which is one of those details that differs from family to family.
How long should we allow for it?
Thirty to forty-five minutes. Rushed bows photograph like an obligation; unhurried ones photograph like love. Ask one relative who knows the ritual order to guide the room, and build a buffer in before it rather than after.
Do we need to hire a paebaek set?
Most couples rent the table, screen, hanbok and food spread as a package from a hanbok or paebaek specialist, many of whom serve Koreatown and greater Los Angeles. Your venue will need to know the room and the setup time in advance.

Serving LA, OC, San Diego & Las Vegas

Photographingyour paebaek.

Our full approach to Korean weddings — coverage positions for each ritual moment, hanbok portraits and a timeline that fits the paebaek into the day — is on the Korean wedding photography page.